what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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