i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
