Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
