VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
