The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
