She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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