I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
