It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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