you guys were way drunker than both of me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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