its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
