this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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