How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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