he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
