The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
