id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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