Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
