why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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