i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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