I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
