You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
