I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
