Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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