like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize