Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
