Your dad touched me again.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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