I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Are my feet made of real feet?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
