And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
