I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
