That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
