no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
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Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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