Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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