Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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