when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
