dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
