I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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