i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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