What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
4 words: hood of his car
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize