when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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