he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
