is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
