real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
