"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
