i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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