So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my being single is dangerous.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
