..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
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I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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