Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
