I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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