I feel great
I just peed on a car
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sext me about skeletons
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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