i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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