you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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