Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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