If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We left the knife in your bed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
