Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize