Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
