when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
