No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
