Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
