Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My ass is underappreciated
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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