at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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