plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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